This is the prayer that’s in my heart today. I miss Bali a lot and I do feel sad that I’m choosing not to live there right now.
I’ve been called spoiled and childish quite a bit during the past few weeks. Fortunately, I don’t have any charge around that. I know I’m childish. And I know I’m spoiled too. I’m totally fine being both of those things. Like Yoganada, I feel like the Divine Mother has given me everything I’ve ever asked for.
Because I also know that when it comes time for me to step up and put my big girl pants on, I do that. I’m doing that right now. I am faithful and obedient to the guidance I’m given, even if I’m sassy about it sometimes.
So in spite of my human-self whinging “leave me alone!” and “I don’t wanna!” today, I know I can always tap into my Higher-Self and let her lead the way. And in doing so, I find the serenity and maturity needed to take care of my loved ones when they can’t take care of themselves.
I was sharing this inner dance with my partner earlier today and he laughed.
Anyone who knows my hubby knows that 90% of what comes out of his mouth is jokes and playing. He said <in whiny voice mocking me> “Awww, but why do I always have to do all the getting sick so you can do your personal work?! I don’t wanna!” I couldn’t help but giggle. For those of us committed to growth, this much I know is true: we will never be without circumstances that stretch us. We attract them like moths to a flame. And when we use these circumstances skillfully – with empowering frames and metaphors we come out stronger than when we went in.
Ever heard of Post Traumatic Growth? No? Yeah, that’s cause most folk only ever focus on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But Post Traumatic Growth is legit. Look it up. That’s why I don’t baulk at prospect of being traumatised anymore. Bring it. I’m open to it. I’ve learned how to grow from it.
So whilst I’m feeling slightly traumatised about moving to Tamworth (not gonna lie, that’s my current human-self experience) because in many aspects of life I perceive Bali to be better, my Higher-Self is right there with me, maturely holding my hand whilst I be childish about it.
And I’m OK with that.